This is my first personal post, which as a very private person, I probably wouldn't had posted a couple years back. However I feel that there are many other people dealing with the same issue so for the greater purpose and wellbeing of others, I wanted to share my own experiences.
Back in 2013 when I was a menswear stylist and product manager I did a lot of research on the menswear market. I saw a lot of opportunities the in the growing designer menswear niche and decided to give it a go
I love the new Face Book 'memories' feature that reminds you of post you did on the same day on previous years. This was my memory today:
It was a bit weird to read this memory from two years back. I've mentioned people that I got I'll just before the showcase of the collection and couldn't actually make it but I haven't spoken much about it in detail. I feel that this 'pushing yourself to the limit' mentality is a common issue in the society today and I think it's important to share what the consequences of this type of approach can have.
So a few days after posting this memory I got really ill. I couldn't keep any food in and was just throwing up stomach acids. I had so bad shivers that I couldn't sleep. I got really severe, unbearable headaches that didn't go away with painkillers, which resulted in me accidentally overdosing on paracetamol. I was taken to the hospital to get treated. I didn't even realise I was treated as an overdose patient until I was asked for the 10th time if I had any suicidal thoughts! I was stressed out yes but I had no such thoughts. I just wanted to get rid of the unbearable pain.
They finally gave me morphine for the headache. I remember trying to describe the severeness of the pain. They would always ask me the usual 'from 1 to 10 how bad is the pain' and I would say 100!!! They had to increase the dose three times before the pain was somehow bearable. At this point I was obviously completely out.
I was in the hospital for a week until I was finally better. The doctors could never figure out what was wrong. They said my infection levels were really high but couldn't explain why. In addition I hadn't been able to eat properly for months because every time I would eat I would get really bad stomach cramps. At this point my weight was down to 44kg.
After the hospital I went to different doctors so many times trying to find a reason why my body was acting up but everything was physically ok and they couldn't give me a explanation. I then finally went to a nutritionist which was an eye-opening experience. She explained me in detail how STRESS can really cause these physical symptoms. The mind and body is so much more connected than we realise. She gave me really good advice for stress management such as yoga and meditation. I had been reading loads about the importance of stress management before and I though I knew but I never really understood it until this. The illness was by far the most horrible and painful experience I've ever had and it definitely thought me a lesson!
People please, nothing is more important than your health. There no point of being the most successful person in the graveyard. Don't be so hard on yourself! This applies to everything in life; business, personal life, working out ..
I feel I have learned so so much during these two years. And I'm now thankful of those horrible experiences cause they have brought me closer to my higher self.
Sometimes you don't understand why things aren't going the way you planned until new doors open and it makes perfect sense. Everything you are going through is preparing you for what you asked for.
I needed to go through the process of starting a label to understand the fashion business inside out. It was fascinating but it wasn't for me. Before launching the collection I had already got some press through my uni at the time and I was contacted by an online boutique Unconventional that made me and offer. Here is their blog post on the collection with more images.
I had to be honest with myself and them and say that I have discontinued the collection. It just didn't feel right. I can't describe how much respect I have for designers now! It's incredibly hard work man. People don't realise how complex and expensive making collections is.
However seeing and knowing this is a massive advantage in my current approach in fashion marketing/promotion and consulting. It's funny cause having a background in visual communication, fashion marketing and -business, not design, I was never comfortable with the fashion designer title. Your guts are always right.
I can see the pieces coming together and it feels so right. I'm back in my zone doing shoots and projects I know I'm good at and and feel natural to me.
Life is a funny thing ... Everything happens for a reason, it's a journey. Be ambitious but patient. Trust the process. Just let things happen. Let life flow and teach you what you need to be taught. Don't force it... I have learned to breathe and let go off all unnecessary worries and to focus on being grateful for what I already have. Gratitude is the key to happiness and wellbeing y'all :)
I meant to write only a few sentences but I hope sharing this experience helps anyone who might have been or is in a similar situation. It will all be alright :)